I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
