Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Shame - the story of my life.
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