How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Randomize
