dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
