Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
