one two three fourrrrnication!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize