i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize