He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize