it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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