I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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