No stitches, just platelets and will power
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wear drunk well.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
