Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize