I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
