Its about making memories worth repressing
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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