I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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