what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
