You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
