Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
