Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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