the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
