please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
