Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
