It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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