Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
