I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
