had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize