Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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