He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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