that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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