we have officially lost it.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
