Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
