She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i think my mom watched the whole time
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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