I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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