He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
