He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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