The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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