dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you never un-have a 4some
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