If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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