im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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