Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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