i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
