I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
