After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
