hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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