Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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