I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
