goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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