dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
