you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
