When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
