I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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