Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
