i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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