everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
