ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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