woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
