can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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