I'm jealous of your bromance
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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