she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
