Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
