I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
