so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
