We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it penis luge time yet?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Randomize
