FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
